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I just realized that THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!

I have no idea why but this deep lingering sadness has come over me. I don't even know exactly why I am writing about it on here of all places, maybe I just need someone to read my thoughts and try and get lost in my head like I am. Maybe it was his pictures that I came across today, we both looked so happy. And to think after all the years we both fought to keep ''us'' alive it was all gone within a blink of an eye. I guess life is nothing but little moments that blow up into these huge sections of our lives. I still remember everything. Every kiss, every whisper and every tear that we both shed when he said goodbye. It's been more that 2 years and this emptiness in my heart is like a lingering ghost inside my chest. Something that I have tried very hard to let go of, something that I need to let go of but it always comes back to him. I know it's childish to let a broken heart control every aspect of your life, and believe me I have tried over and over to let it go. I just can't. I don't think that I function normally anymore. Seriously, I am just broken. I don't trust, I just don't feel anymore. And what's sad is when I do start to feel something I pull away from it. I guess as much as I miss it I fear it..and I mean love, relationships or any kind of human contact. Its like I'm just this empty shell that is just going through the motions of everyday life. I mean is this how I am going to be for the rest of my life? It's sad to think it is. Not to have someone to share trivial everyday life with. Ugh I am just rambling on on on..but anyways what I am trying to say is..when is this part over?

COMMENTS

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Aingeal
05:38 Jun 08 2012

i know what that feels like you need my number i will give it to you to talk to me so no more tears of sadness you hear?

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braindead66
07:36 Jun 08 2012

big hugs

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slipknotbabe356
20:02 Jun 08 2012

*Hugs*

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captainglobehead
01:21 Jun 17 2012

::hugs::

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supernova
01:44 Jun 18 2012

This part ...is the hardest part to get over...and that will stop when the realization comes when u have the strength to see beyond what u feel...I've been there...so I know what u are going thru hun...and when it comes it will release u from that prison u are in and u will breathe...I mean litterally and physically breathe...its like Omg! How great is life after that...its hard to xplain till it happens...but it will ...honest I swear it will...its not time yet...u will know its joy because ur heart will no longer crave the need to be in the condition you are in ,the empty shell-like grave u feel now....I'm here if u need it*huggs*

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